sometimes. i always wanted to let my last blog entry start with this word. it calms down. it relativizes. nothing is right, and nothing is wrong. and especially, nothing is absolute. not on this space and nowhere else. in january, i swore myself to end this all when feelings are breaking through again. they do, because they are meant to free themselves. literally. "sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same", a wise mind once told me. true. for lifes as for world wide webs. und falls wir uns nicht wiedersehen: guten tag, guten abend und gute nacht!

last minutes at home. after the following four days of therapy in a medical centre in ramsau, i will finally return to groningen on friday. no private stuff on this blog. valid, but not in this second. without my family, i would have already lost. with it, i am a winner anyway. danke.

recent subject in austria: kids consuming alcohol until their heads fall off, endearingly called "coma drinking". i even don't know for sure, why this discussion started just now, perhaps there was a young teenager drinking himself (or herself???) to hospital. however, suddenly the country screams out loud, that it has got a high-percent problem. i remember, when i started to go out. i was late, fucking late, sixteen or something. and i already wondered to that time about the youth of the night. and now, almost ten years later, it's even younger. additionally, we face an explosive mixture of alcoholic availabilty, business pressure and medial overdose. not surprising, that the methanolic overdoses are following automatically... what to do? cultivating a new adolescent trend by inventing words like "coma drinking"? rather not.

by the way. a felicitous political cartoon in today's austrian newspaper salzburger nachrichten: the art of banality. not really part of the subject, but worth to show.

first time since i'm back of having a day completely for myself. breathing, forgetting body parts, meeting "dutch" friends. with silviya from bulgaria and viennese homie karin i passed a tuesday at the austrian capitol, visiting schönbrunn and the inner city (by fiaker). laughing about all the clichés, once again turning out to be nothing than reality. two seconds in the subway (translation simply impossible): "herst oide, host du a hirn wia a nudlsieb? des gibt's jo ned! greif da des stangl und loss de aundern a einsteign!"

one more week in austria. all for the knee, not for me. shoutoutloud to van houtenlaan.

how does the perfect advertisment look like? i don't know, and perhaps there is no, but the latest one of coca-cola is pretty close in my opinion. a guy going for a bottle at an automat, which suddenly offers an adventural backside of taste and exciting involvement. nothing seen and felt like this for long. respect.

i never made it to a speech of jörg haider, even if i always planned to so. the mystery of populism interests me ever since. how is it possible to manipulate people nowadays, especially in a country like austria, having such a dark recent xenophobian history?! today i "took the chance" to watch h. c. strache - the current leader of the freedom party - in linz, to witness directly. and what i saw, was first of all fulfilling my unsubstantial expectations, and secondly making me afraid. a guy (with exceptional rhetorical skills) - presenting himself as a cartoon figure, cleaning austria from foreign dirt - is cautioning against the islamisation of this country, using sentence like this: "willst du eine wohnung haben, musst du nur ein kopftuch tragen." ("if you search for an appartment, you just have to wear a headscarf.") and i'm finding myself in a jeering crowd, switching off its last working brain cells. back in time, and i start trembling.

who is the new camping member of our family? little fairy has passed her baptism of fire superbly. two days of stockinger-being-together at the neusiedlersee. some time to recover.

bullshit, what i wrote yesterday. thoughtless and stupid, like the 8-minute-egg in front of me. hope nobody read it. there is no average, except the one we define for ourselves.

three things are left from paradise: flowers, stars and babies.